Comics

Chuckles: Funny Quotes
By Alexi Firebolt

"There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot." - Steven Wright

"I invented the internet." - Al Gore.

"My name is turtle and I'm a rubber ducky."- me.

"Now, in self-defence. Tonight I shall be carrying on from where we got to last week when I was showing you how to defend yourselves against anyone who attacks you armed with a piece of fresh fruit." - John Cleese.

"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?" - Linda Ellerbee.

Harry Potter Trivia Questions
By Nicole Delacour

1. What, exactly, was in the Chamber of Secrets?

2. What was the name of Albus Dumbledore's phoenix?

3. What was the name of the house elf that warned Harry not to go to Hogwarts?

4. Who is Harry's enemy (of the same age), and what are the names of his two henchmen?

5. Why did Harry, Ron, and Hermione make a polyjuice potion in the girl's bathroom?

6. In the Triwizard Tournament, what did the contestants have to fight in the first task?

7. How was Rita Skeeter getting information when she wasn't allowed in the Hogwarts grounds?

8. What did Professor Lupin turn into?

9. Where was the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets?

10. How did the Weasleys' travel to Diagon Alley?

Answers will be in the next update.

A Few Little Things To Chuckle At
By Hermiona Pisces-Dumbledore

I sat at the chair in front of the computer for hours typing these.... There's a cute link too:)

Age Problems: There were two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. he was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for many years. One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the table, sitting across from each other. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gavered up his courage to ask her ''Will you marry me?'' After a few minutes of careful consideration, she awnsered ''Yes, yes I will.'' The meal ended with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. The next morning, he was troubled. ''Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?'' He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the phone and called her. First, he explained to her that he could not remember as well as he used to.Then he reviwed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, ''when I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'yes' or 'no'?" He was delighted to hear her say ''Why I said 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart''. Then she continued ''And I am so darned glad you called because I couldn't remeber who the heck had asked me!"

Fair Warning: Discovering one of her students making faces at the others, Ms. Levine stopped to gently scold the child. Smiling sweetly, she said ''Johnny, when I was your age, I was told that if I made those faces my face would stick that way forever." The boy looked up and replied ''Well, you can't say you weren't warned."

The Book of Endless Pranks
by Abby Potter

I, Abby Potter, have written a book of endless pranks. Really, it's endless. I and my experts from Gred and Forge Company have been testing it on a test subject (a cough sounding like Malfoy). Fred! Don't tell them or we'll be in trouble! Here are my colleagues with me for an interview.

Fred: Happy to be here!
George: You only want to be here cause you fancy Abby here.
Fred: ( elbows George)
George: Ow!
Abby: Now boys (giggles)
Fred: Whatever you say. (dreamily)
George: Watcha want to ask us Mrs. Future Fred Weasely
Abby: SLAP
George: Okay, Okay, I'll quit it.
Abby: Now how many books have we sold?
George: Bout whole school has 'em... Hey George stop drooling!
Fred: Oh sorry!
Abby: (giggles) Are they using it?
Fred: Heck yeah! Everybody's watching their backs. Especially around Harry.
Abby: Why?
George: He did our experiment number 5667555. It was a success. The smell stayed for weeks.
Abby: Not even Dumbledore could do it. Wow.

Abby:That's are interview. Sold everywhere for 2 sickles.
Fred whispers: Abby do you want to go to Astronomy Tower?
Abby: SLAP!

Chuckles - The Wonders of Cat Chow
By Alexi Firebolt

Recently, while mom was in Paris, dad had invited some business people over because he'd invented another broom called the "Flying Firebolt", which is supposedly a better broom.

I don't really know how good it is because THIS time I refused to test it out, and went to make sure the caterers had arrived.

Because I wouldn't ride it, dad bribed my 6-year-old cousin to "give it a go".

After the ride, my aunt Alendi ( my dad's older sister), who'd been watching the caterers leave, walked out, surveyed the scene and proceeded to chase dad around the yard, screaming "Averous, you had better have a really good explanation for this stunt!" Meanwhile in the kitchen, Loyal was eating the plate of appetizers.

When everything settled down, I went into the kitchen and saw Loyal licking her chops, sitting on what used to be the plate of appetizers.

Thinking quickly, I picked up the spoiled cat and shooed her out into the yard, I could deal with her later.

Since I couldn't whip something up with a wand, I was going to cook the muggle way, then looked at what we had in the non-wand using cupboards.

There wasn't much in the cupboard, just cat chow and ritz crackers, and then, suddenly, I had an idea.... I pulled off the tabs on the cat chow and scooped it onto the crackers and the sneaked outside to the herb garden, plucked some mint and used that as a garnish.

Later, when the guests arrived and had sat down for dinner, each one of the business people sampled the chow crackers.

"Why this is delectable," said one rather plump banker loudly. He then turned to me, "Alexi, why aren't you eating this marvelous food?"

"Because I know what's in it," I thought but instead repiled, "I don't eat meat sir."

"Ah", he laughed "So you're a vegetable".

After dinner when I told Daddy what was really on those crackers. He turned green and excused himself as Aunt Alendi did the same.

Comic By Hannah Hedwig

Comics
By Alexi Firebolt

Loyal decided to try one of Snape's potions , for some reason she turned white , that's right no stripes.
So to console her , daddy gave her her own fookcard which is like a muggle credit card.
She wont eat just salmon, Fish chowder is what she eats.
Moral of that story is: don't let daddy give your cat a fookcard (or a muggle credit card ).

That Darn Cute Cat
By Alexi Firebolt

To kids who read the comics, please e-mail me.

My cat, Loyal, is amazing when yours truly makes (nobody's perfect) mistacks writing (like that.) Loyal knocks over the ink jar. That cat can actully read! It turns out when she was a kitten, my grandmother taught her how to read. When my grandmother passed away, the cat was to go to her favorite granddaughter. Loyal's white with bright gray tiger stripes plus she still reads, she yeowls for someone to get her books .Daddy's already spent some of my book money on her. Seems she's my cat, so her food is salmon with cream sauce. Whose cat gets that for food?

Chuckles
by Alexi Firebolt

Teachers favorite motto's/sayings:

1. Dumbledore: "Just believe in yourself."

2. McGonagal: +/- fifty points for..

3. Hagrid: "It is SO cute."

4. Snape: "Potter!"

5. Lockhart: "Just wave your wand."

Alexi's Guide to Buying a Pet
By Alexi Firebolt

I think every kid needs a pet so here are 5 sure fire tips to getting a pet,

1. Start off with something big like this: "Daddy, can I get a Basilisk?"

2. The puppy dog eyes sometimes work on Hagrid, but not on parents, so instead ask: "Why can't I get a pet? You had a piggerpumpkinp(pig that seems to look like a squash and eats every thing in sight)."

3. If that doesn't work, try the old responsibility trick. " But mommmm I gotta learn responsibility.What better way to learn it than to take care of a snake that's big, huge, hugebiggerous?"

4. If that doesn't work try this: "You don't love me anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!" and cry until you look like a carbon copy of Niagra Falls.

5. If all those don't work try this last one. If this doesn't work your on your own:

Enchant a piece of string so that it looks like a colar of some sort and make it float. Then, enchant some sunglasses to float in front of the string, tell your parents friends that it's a basilisk with sun glasses.

Daily Prophet Chuckles
By Alexi Firebolt

1. If a Professor asks you, "What do you think I am? Stupid!" DON'T Answer!You won't have a very happy day, trust me.

Rhymes:

2. Norbert,norbert,norbety,norbert.Norbert Snorts.

3. Harry Harry,Harry,green eyed Harry,how does your flying go? With big flying balls, and lots of falls, and Beaters beating balls below.

4.I remember once when I was very young, my father, Averous Firebolt, the inventor of "the Firebolt", took me flying.The only thing wrong with that was he took me flying on an early prototype of

"The Firebolt". Now most of these prototypes were perfectly fine, except this one. This one, however, was smaller because my father had run out of broom making supplies, therefore making it smaller than the normal broom.

Now, I was able to fit on the broom (unlike my father,who had put on a couple of pounds as all fathers do).

Keep in mind though, that my father having flown all his life on broomsticks, had forgotten how difficult it can be to get on one.

So just imagine, here I was, a child, who had not even seen her fifth birthday, being stuck on a broom that had never been tested before, and had been pleaded(and bribed with candy) to get on a broom and fly around a bit.

Now, I looked at my father as through he was crazy, (had my mother seen this, she would have most certanly would have thought so too.) I gulped, got on the broom and got into the air and was thrown 10 feet into the air by a bucking broom.

The moral of this story is never agree to test a broom for your dad.

5. Hats are nice if they don't have mice. (don't ask.)

6. I know a girl who constanly uses schm. Yesterday, at breakfast, she said "Spells, schmells".

Now I was already annoyed that morning, and being the show off I was, I was determined to put an end to the schming, so I pointed to the orange on my plate and said "tiviodi" turning it into a flower "Spells". The next thing I did was I pointed to my nose with my wand and said "schmells".

Let's just say it gave Madam Pomfrey quite a fright when I walked in to the hospital wing with my nose the size of a beagles nose.

7.Rats and Bats, don't like cats or Fluffy.